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| Brush your teeth… | ||
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| First find a toothbrush.
Spread some glue on a toothbrush. Wash your teeth. Rinse the mug & pop your teeth back in. . |
Take out your teeth.
Put them in a mug. Brush your teeth. Finally, rinse your mouth with scotch. |
Unscrew your teeth.
Put some toothpaste on a toothbrush. Polish your teeth. Finally, rinse your mouth with water. . |
| Read a newspaper… | ||
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| Buy a newspaper.
Sit on the bench and stretch your legs. Read in a loud voice. Turn over another page. Ask someone to get another newspaper. . |
Look for a newspaper on a park bench.
Open the newspaper. Ask someone to read out loud. Tear up the pages one by one. Fold the paper into a hat and put it on. |
Sit behind someone reading a newspaper.
Look over someone’s shoulder. Read silently and quickly. Ask someone to turn to page three. Close and fold the newspaper. . |
| Switch on the TV… | ||
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| Sit in front of the TV.
Switch on at the mains. Strike the TV with a sledge hammer. Call the TV repair man. . |
Plug in the TV.
Wait. Switch on the TV. Fall asleep. |
Get the instruction handbook.
Read. Continue to wait. Adjust the volume, brightness, contrast. . |
| Wash the dishes… | ||
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| Put the dishes in a wash basin.
Put some soap in the dish washer. Dip a dish mop in paint. Throw the dish washer in the pool. . |
Put the dishes in a sink.
Turn on the hot water tap. Switch on the dish washer. With the dish mop, rub your back. |
Put the dishes in a dish washer.
Open the hot water tap. Add some squeezy to a sponge. With the sponge, rub the dishes. . |
| Hang up the washing… | ||
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| Put the washing in the dog’s basket.
Line up the washing. Get some clothes pegs. Glue the clothes to the line. . |
Put the washing in a basket.
Look for a flag pole. Get a tube of glue. Using the clips, hang up just the socks. |
Tie the clothes together.
Look for a clothes line. Get some paper clips. Using the pegs hang the clothes up. . |
| Tell a joke to an Italian… | ||
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| Study the 'How To' manual.
Make a funny face. Wait for a reaction ( laugh ? ) Jump up and down until . . . . . . your hair turns grey. . |
Hide under the stairs.
Very slowly, tell the joke. Play with your rubber duck. Repeat the previous two steps until . . . . . . the subject begins to emit smoke. |
Take a very deep breath.
Very quickly, mumble the joke. Hit the subject repeatedly with a feather. Repeat the previous action until . . . . . . a miracle happens and you get a laugh. . |